The call of a Hero - a very brief tribute to R' Ari Fuld

In his commentary on the Rosh Hashanah liturgy, Abudraham (mid-1300s) brings down an incredible list in the name of R’ Sa’adiah Gaon (882-942) – 10 thoughts, events, and emotions that we should try to evoke within ourselves while listening to the Shofar blasts. 

Try as I might, I have been unable to locate an older source than the Abudraham’s Siddur for this list (or a reference to it by R’ Saadiah himself), but the list is good enough to stand on its own merits. Here are Abudraham’s/Saadiah Gaon’s 10 reasons for the Shofar blast:

1 – Rosh Hashanah is the beginning of the creation of man, the first creature that God created that had the mental capacity to recognize the King of the World. It’s the custom of new kings to have trumpets blown to let all of their subjects know that a new kingship is beginning, so we inaugurate (the anniversary of) God’s kingship with the Shofar. (1)

2 – Rosh Hashanah is the first of the “Ten Days of Teshuvah.” We blow the Shofar to announce the arrival of this unique time of judgement, as if to say that if you’ve been sleeping until now, you’ve been duly warned that now’s the time to wake up and examine your actions. Human kings do the same thing when they make new laws: they announce them with trumpets and proclamations, so if anyone breaks that decree, they can’t claim that they didn’t know about it.

3 – To evoke images of the Har Sinai experience. When the Torah was given, there were Shofars being blown, (2) so we blow the Shofar on Rosh Hashanah in order for us to renew the commitment that our ancestors took upon themselves when they first accepted the Torah.

4 – To evoke images of the words and warnings of the Prophets which were compared to the sound of the Shofar. (3) 

5 – To evoke images of the destruction of the Beis haMikdash and the sound of trumpets that soldiers of war blow to strike fear into the hearts of their enemies. (4) When we hear the sound of the Shofar, we should hope for the rebuilding of the Beis haMikdash.

6 – To evoke images of the Akeidas Yitzchak. Our forefather Yitzchak willingly offered his life over to God, we should be willing to offer our lives just as he did. Additionally, the Akeidas Yitzchak should be remembered in front of God as a zchus for all of us.

7 – When we hear the Shofar, it should evoke fear and trembling into our hearts in the face of our Creator. The nature of the Shofar (and other horn-type instruments) is to strike fear into the heart of all who hear it. (5)

8 – To evoke images of the great Day of Judgement and to fear it, as the Prophet says that the Shofar will be blown on that day. (6)

9 – To evoke images of the future time when all Jews in the world will be gathered from all parts of the exile, and taken back to Israel. The Shofar will be blown then as well. (7)

10 – To evoke images of the future Revival of the Dead, and to believe in it, for the Shofar will be sounded then as well. (8)

Ever since I discovered this list, it really expanded my consciousness to a deeper appreciation for the Shofar blasts on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. Coming toward Yom Kippur 5779, however, there’s going to be something else on my mind during the Shofar.

R’ Ari Fuld was an unbelievable person. He was my Rebbe, my mentor, and a deeply inspiring personality. While he was in Yeshiva, he always made time to talk to me, discussing all manner of life’s issues. We would walk around the Old City of Jerusalem many Thursday nights, often until the early hours of Friday morning, having profound encounters of the mind, soul, and spirit. We didn’t always agree, but it was always a pleasure and an honor to spend this time with him.

It was largely due to the first shiur I heard him give, a Thursday Night Mussar Shmooze shortly before Chanukah, that I decided to spend a second year in Yeshiva and to start thinking about other central life issues. I was so intimidated by his personality, and it was incredible to be able to develop a real relationship with someone I truly considered a hero. It’s very hard for me to think that I’ll never be able to have a conversation with him again. A big part of me still doesn’t believe it.

I’m not suggesting you watch the footage, but it’s important to me that you know how he spent his last moment in this life: After stabbing R’ Ari repeatedly in the back, his assailant started running off. Through the pain and confusion, R’ Ari started chasing him down. Clearly dazed and woozy with pain, R’ Ari somehow made his legs work, and even managed to jump over a short fence before stopping, aiming his gun, and shooting the terrorist, incapacitating him. Only then, when he ensured that the teenage terrorist wouldn’t be able to attack anyone else, did R’ Ari stumble and collapse due to his own injuries. If that’s not how a hero dies, I don’t know how one does.

R’ Ari would always ask us what we wanted people to write on our tombstones one day, how we wanted to be remembered. Leading by example, he was always unapologetic about what he believed in, and will be remembered by everyone for the things he thought were most important: serving and advocating for his country and nation, spending time with and loving his family, and learning and teaching Torah. He wouldn't have had it any other way.

Coming toward Yom Kippur 5779, however, there’s going to be something else on my mind when the Shofar is sounded. I’m going to let the Shofar evoke images of the life of R’ Ari, the lessons he implanted in us while he was alive, and the message I hope to carry forward now that he’s…

I only hope he’d be proud.

R' Ari, we will always remember you, miss you, and cherish what you gave us

- a student

(1) Cf. Tehilim 98:6

(2) Shemos 19:19

(3) Yechezkel 33:4

(4) cf. Yirmiyahu 4:19

(5) cf. Amos 3:6. Also, lehavdil, the horn that the orcs blew before charging into battle in Lord of the Rings.

(6) Tzephaniah 1:14

(7) Yeshayahu 27:13

(8) Yeshayahu 18:3

Would you kick a cow?

In your mind's eye, I want you to imagine yourself on a farm. Be as specific and detailed as you like: smell the grass, feel the cool breeze on your skin, the warm sun on your face, listen to the tractor working in the background, the sounds of dozens of farmhands reaping the produce of a bountiful harvest... 

Imagine that I were to walk up to you, take you by the hand, and lead you to an enclosure. This enclosure houses Bessy, the family cow. She trots up to you, licks your hand, and snuggles her head under your chin.

Left alone in the enclosure, what would you do next? Would you hug Bessy? Would you cuddle with her? Scratch her ears, pet her head, give her food?

Whatever you said, I'm sure (as sure as I could be about anything) that you didn't say that you'd kick her. You're not a monster, surely, and wouldn't want to cause her any unnecessary pain. 

Before proceeding, here are a few important questions to consider:

1) Assuming you are resistant to the prospect of kicking Bessy, would you feel the same resistance if I suggested you kick a rock? A tree? A wall? Why or why not?

2) Is this resistance merely pragmatic, based on the fact that you gain nothing from the action? Or is it more ethically based, based on the feeling of guilt of hurting a presumably sentient cow?

If I told you that I would offer you money to kick her, what would your price be? One dollar, ten, fifty, a thousand? No one has to know about this, it could be our little secret, and you need not fear any societal repercussions. What would you say now? Are you at least a bit more tempted to kick Bessy? 

What if I didn't offer you money but I offered you a good lunch, would you agree then? If I invited you to my barbecue and grilled a burger for you, could I convince you to give Bessy a solid kick? 

I've posed this question dozens of times and not once has anyone answered in the affirmative. If experience indicates anything, you're not the first person to say that you'd kick the cow, but if you are, I'd love to continue this conversation in person. If not, though I fear I've already betrayed my intentions and biases, I will go on.

Imagine I gave you the same offer with one modification: you wouldn't have to kick Bessy directly, you'd just have to press a button and a machine would do it. Would you agree then?

What if you were able to press that button with Bessy behind a closed door so you didn't even have to see or hear her pain? 

What if you could nominate a kicker to do the action for you; would that make a moral difference?

What if it you didn't have to kick her but you had to hire someone to separate her from her mother at birth, raise her in cramped conditions, forcibly impregnate her every few months and separate her from her calves when they were born, milk her (literally and figuratively) for every drop she could make for her owners, leave her with underqualified, undertrained, potentially abusive farmhands until the day she stops producing milk, and then cart her off to a slaughterhouse to shoot a nail through her skull or slice a knife across her neck, all for the explicit purpose of stripping her carcass down to consume her flesh... 

Would you accept my invitation to the barbecue now?

In my experience, nobody I have ever posed this question to agreed to kick the cow, and I don't have any reason to believe that the overwhelming majority of meat eaters would agree to do that. Most people are good and aren't okay with causing unnecessary pain, yet all flesh-consumers give tacit consent to the last paragraph of my thought experiment by supporting the meat industry. I find that fascinating. 

What to do about this is another discussion, one I will hopefully cover in a future blog post. In the meantime, I leave you with this. 

Just something to think about.

Thank you for your time.
As always, with love
Avi Hoffman

Before we begin...

Hello, friend. Welcome to my first blog post.

It's very possible that you are my first reader, perhaps my only one. Writing this first entry, I have no idea how far my thoughts will spread, how much they will resonate with my fellow human beings, or how interesting they will be. Even so, I feel obligated to justify the undertaking.

My primary goal here is to record thoughts and ideas for my future self. There were times in my life when I was struck by inspiration and had the fortitude to record those thoughts. When I did so, and when I came back to those ideas later in life, I was always happy that I did. There were many ideas I've had about magic, theology, life, and other topics that I did not record; I don't remember them now and can't grow from them. They've receded into my dustbin of forgotten memories, though I'm sure many of them were great ideas. 

The goal of this blog is to remedy that situation. If other people find my thoughts interesting enough for any level of time investment, while I do find that very flattering, that is merely secondary. 

That being said, the secondary goal of this blog is also quite important. This is a place for my ideas to marinate, hopefully inspiring discussion, debate, and growth. If I'm wrong about something, I want you to tell me about it. If my thoughts inspire you in some way, if I left something out, or if my thoughts are in any way worthy of comment, I want to hear what you have to say.

So think of this as our blog, an experiment in discussion, and a recorded evolution of ideas. I hope you'll find it interesting. 

Thank you for your time. 

As always, with love
Avi Hoffman